The Wee Goblin Diet (Lake’s diet)

Wee Goblins…

do NOT eat	eat a little of	as much as they like
Processed/Refined Sugar	Red Meats	Beans
Gluten	Maple Syrup	Quinoa
Dairy	Honey	Lentils
Rice	Banana	Veggies
Soy	Eggs	Fruits
Corn-based Products		Berries
Vegetable Oil		Oatmeal
Canola Oil		Fish
Processed or artificial foods

Wee Goblin Caretakers Drink…

• Water
• Coffee (no cream, no sugar, just pain)
• Water
• Tea
• Did I say water?

Goblin Food and Recipes

Any mischeivious creature will find great value in a good pressure cooker. Many of these foods are still craftable without one (a crock pot often suffices) but the convenience and speed of a pressure cooker makes these recipes fly by! Which makes it much easier for a goblin to craft their own food!

Approved Wee Goblin Cooking Oils

• Coconut Oil
• Olive Oil

Things Goblins buy at the store

• Frozen Veggies (Frozen and canned fruits/veggies are often very good because they were picked at their ripest and immediately processed)
• Tomoto Sauce and Paste
• Onions
• Potatos
• Quinoa
• Bean pasta (Trader Joes has these reliably)
• Beef Soup bones
• Frozen Split pigs feet
• Dried Beans
• Oatmeal (you can often get Gluten Free Oatmeal in the bulk section of winco)
• Frozen Berries (blueberries are a favorite!)
• Mushrooms
• Olive Oil
• Unrefined Coconut Oil
• Dates
• Figs (Look to make sure they don’t have sulfates or anything like that, some people have reactions to that stuff)
• Bananas
• Plantains
• Oranges
• Apples
• Grapes
• Chia Seeds
• Hemp Hearts
• Pepper Corns
• Bay Leaves
• Garlic
• Salt
• Baking Soda
• Baking Powder
• Paprika
• Various fresh herbs for whatever you may cook that night.
• A protein to cook for meals

Quick Goblin Snacks

• Figs
• Goblin Power Bars (see recipe below)
• Fruits
• Veggies
• Roasty Goblin Potatos w/ Goblin Ketchup
• Roasted Brussel Sprouts
• Roasted Vegetables (same as brussel sprouts but with other vegetables as well)

Stock

The foundation of most all goblin dishes, a good bone stock makes anything and everything taste so much better and so much healthier! Simple to make and simple to store!

Tools

• Pressure Cooker or Crock Pot
• Something to squish garlic
• A second pot to pour the finished stock into
• A sieve to catch all the little bits during pouring

Ingredients

• Bones (ex. Left overs from costco chicken, beef soup bones from winco)
• Head of Garlic
• 2 pork feet halves (Frozen pork feet are at winco usually, also at a local butcher)

For extra awesome stock (optional, not required)

• Dried Star Anise (usually found in an asian market, or perhaps the seasoning aisle of a grocery store)
• Bay Leaf

Notice we do not add salt here! That is because this is an ingredient to cook other foods, so we don’t want to risk ruining a future dish because we didn’t salt (also called seasoning) correctly!

Crafting

1. Put bones into pressure cooker/crock pot
2. Take out a cutting board and big knife or spatula
3. Pull apart garlic head into cloves
   • Put under flat of knife or spatula
   • Crush by pressing with palm of hand against tool
4. Toss garlic into pot
5. Toss pork feet into pot
6. Toss bay leaf and anise if desired
7. Fill with water
8. Close pressure cooker/crock pot and: * Set to 2 hours in pressure cooker * Set to LOW in crock-pot and wait 8 hours/overnight
9. Set the second pot into a kitchen sink
10. Ready the sieve over the second pot
11. Lift the stock-filled pot out of the pressure cooker/crockpot and carefully pour through the sieve into the second pot.

To quickly cool the stock…

1. Plug the kitchen sink
2. Pour cold water into the kitchen sink AROUND the filled pot of stock
3. Stir the stock continuously until you can stick a (very) clean finger into the stock without burning yourself, you should be able to now safely stick the pot of stock in the fridge to chill the rest of the way.

Goblin Oatmeal

Tools

• Pot
• Wooden Spoon

Ingredients

• Water
• Oatmeal
• Salt
• Frozen Blueberries
• Various additives (hemp hearts, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, etc.)

Crafting

1. Pour enough water in pot to cover bottom and alittle more
2. Heat water
3. Add a little pinch of salt
4. Add oatmeal until you think another handful is a bad idea.
5. Cook till you see if thicken, adding a little water here and there if you want
6. Once cooked to satisfaction, turn off heat and throw in a fistful of blueberries and additives
7. Stir about till blueberries incorporated
8. Cool and serve!

Goblin Ketchup

Tools

• Pressure Cooker w/ stainless steel pot OR Stainless steel pan
• Blender ( the stick immersion blenders are best )
• Can Opener
• Thing to scoup out tomato sauce or paste from can (butter knife for example)
• Wooden spoon

Ingredients

• Onion
• Olive Oil
• Can of tomato paste or sauce
• Fistful of Dates
• 1 Cup of Stock
• Paprika
• Salt

Extra Awesome but optional

• Star Anise
• Bay Leaf
• Tequila

Crafting

1. Heat stainless steel pot/pan over medium/low heat (too hot an the olive oil will burn, which is bad)
2. Cut onion up
3. Open can of tomato sauce/paste
4. Open lid of Olive oil
5. Put fistful of onions in one hand and hold the olive oil in the other…
6. Put a dash of olive oil in the hot pan followed by the onions!
7. Stir about for a moment to coat onions
8. Let onions cook until you begin to notice little brown bits sticking to the pan
9. Once their is a healthy layer of brown bits: * (Optional) Pour in tequila and use wooden spoon scrape up the brown bits, let it cook down, THEN:
10. Dump cup of stock into the pan, scrape up brown onion bits with wooden spoon.
11. Pour can of tomatoes into stock
12. Add some paprika, the bay leaf, the anise, and your fistful of dates.
13. Then: * If using a pressure cooker, put lid on, seal, and cook for 12 minutes, quick release when finished * If using pan, set to low, cover, and cook till things just feel right
14. When finished cooking, let it cool * You can put the pot in some cold water and stir to expedite the process
15. Take out bay leaf and anise star, those will not taste good to any unlucky goblins that eat those
16. Plug in blender, and blend the mixture!
17. Add a pinch of salt, stir, taste, and repeat if needed until delicious!

Goblin Beans

Tools

• Pressure Cooker/Crock Pot

Ingredients

• Salt
• Water
• Dry Beans (red beans are an excellent choice)
• Dried Star Anise (optional)
• Bay Leaf (optional)

Crafting

1. Pour a little less beans than you think you’ll eat into your selected pot (they expand a surprising amount)
2. Pour water into pot
3. Pour a slightly uncomfortable amount of salt in the water
4. Throw in bay leaf and some star anise if they’re on hand
5. To cook: * If pressure cooker, seal and set to 45 minutes * If crock pot, set to low and leave overnight
6. Drain water (we didn’t use stock but ultimately it would be wasted on this step)
7. EAT!

Pulled Pork

Tools

• Knife
• Cutting Board
• Pressure Cooker
• Stainless Steel Pot (comes with pressure cooker)
• Heat-Safe Tongs
• Heat-Safe Spatula
• Blender (immersion blender is best)
• Extra plate
• Wooden Spoon
• Can Opener

Ingredients

• Pork Shoulder
• Stock
• Tomato Paste
• Onion
• Red Wine
• Salt
• Paprika
• Pepper
• Bay Leaf
• Olive Oil
• Fistful of Dates

Crafting

1. Cut Pork into cubes
2. Pat Pork Dry
3. Toss Pork in Salt
4. Cut onion up roughly
5. Open can of tomato paste
6. Heat Stainless Steel Pot to Medium Heat
7. Uncap Olive Oil Bottle
8. Prepare to move very fast
9. Put pork cube in other hand
10. Make sure you’re ready to be very quick
11. Pour a tablespoon or so olive oil into hot pan
12. Quick! Place the pork cubes deliberately in the hot oil!
13. Pork is going sizzle and STICK to the pot. This is okay.
14. Now we want to brown each side of the pork cubes. Let it sizzle and watch the edges. When you see one that is brown and you feel a little uncomfortable, go ahead and use your spatula and tongs to pry a piece of pork off to check it. If it’s not orange-y brown and incredibly satisfying to look at, put it back on the oil and continue waiting. Use this piece as your reference piece when you want to check again.
15. Once all sides of the pork have browned satisfactorily, remove pork from pot and place on the extra plate to set aside.
16. Add chopped onion to pot.
17. Use wooden spoon to scrape along bottom of pot to remove the delicious brown bits the pork left. As the onion cooks, it’s water will release and deglaze the pan, making it easier to scrape the bits off the bottom with the spoon.
18. Let the onion cook down now, until you begin to notice little brown bits on the bottom of the pot.
19. Splash a couple cups or so of red wine into the pot
20. Use wooden spoon scrape delicious onion bits off bottom of pot now
21. Pour tomato paste into pot.
22. Stir it about
23. Let pot cook with wine and paste in it until you begin to notice the paste sticking to the bottom of the pan AND it’s hard to scrape it off.
24. Pour a couple cups of Stock into pot
25. Scrape up tomato bits stuck to bottom of pan
26. Cook stock down till it’s pleasantly thick.
27. Throw in fistful of dates and take pot off the heat.
28. Put pot in a kitchen sink filled with cold water and stir pot until it’s not too hot to blend.
29. Blend cooled pot of sauce till smooth
30. Put pot into pressure cooker
31. Add a little bit of stock to make sure it has enough water to steam.
32. Add that pork you cooked 20 steps ago back into the pot and stir around to cover
33. Seal pressure cooker
34. Set for 45 minutes
35. Wait 45 minutes
36. When time has reached, unseal the pressure cooker (turn the little knob on the top away from “Sealing”)
37. Open pressure cooker, shred pork, and eat!

Roasted Brussel Sprouts

Tools

Knife Cutting board Cookie Sheet Big Bowl

Ingredients

Brussel Sprouts Salt Pepper Olive Oil

Crafting

1. Cut brussel sprouts into halves
2. Set oven for 350 degrees Farenheit
3. Put halves into big bowl
4. Pour a few table spoons of Olive Oil into bowl
5. Add some salt and pepper till you’re happy
6. Toss sprouts in oil
7. When you’re happy they’re all covered with oil and salt and pepper dump onto cookie sheet * If you’re feeling a little extra OCD, put all the halves face-down in pan to optimize browning
8. Put brussel sprouts into hot over
9. Set timer for 30 minutes
10. After 30 minutes, check on the sprouts. Check every 10 minutes or so until done.
11. EAT!

Goblin Power Bars

Tools

Ingredients

Crafting

Goblin Palak

Tools

Ingredients

Crafting

Quinoa

Tools

• Pan
• Pot
• Wooden Spoon
• 1 Cup measuring cup
• Wire-mesh sieve

Ingredients

Quinoa Stock Salt

Crafting

1. Put 2 Cups of stock into pot
2. Put 1 Cup of quinoa into wire mesh sieve
3. Put under kitchen sink and spray with hose part till you’re pretty sure there is no way all the quinoa hasn’t been given a good rinsing
4. Put quinoa into pan
5. Turn heat on under pan, we’re going to toast the quinoa
6. Use wooden spoon to move quinoa about regularly, taking brief pauses to let heat work on quinoa. This is a delicate dance that takes a little practice
7. When quinoa smells nutty and the color has developed into a pleasant yellow pour into pot of stock.
8. Bring Pot to roiling boil
9. Once at roiling boil, lower to a simmer
10. Do not cover!
11. Let cook until all liquid has mostly cooked out
12. Cover!
13. Turn off heat
14. Wait 10-15 minutes for quinoa to absorb rest of water.
15. Fluff and enjoy!

Oven-Baked Chicken Wings with Mable-Syrup Mustard Sauce

Tools

Ingredients

Crafting

Toasty Goblin Taters

Tools

Knife Cutting Board Pot Cookie Sheet Wood Spoon Big Bowl

Ingredients

Baking Soda Potatos Salt Pepper Olive Oil

Crafting

1. Turn oven to 350 degree farenheit
2. Fill pot with water
3. Add Salt
4. Add a couple pinches of baking soda
5. Turn on heat under pot
6. Wash each potato
7. Cut each potato in half length-wise, then cut those halves in half length-wise, then cut the quaters into sections width-wise.
8. Add potatos to boiling water
9. Let potatos cook until a fork pokes through easily
10. Drain water from pot when potatos are cooked
11. Put olive oil into big bowl
12. Put salt and pepper into big bowl
13. Pour dried-ish potatos into big bowl
14. Toss potatos in oil until a nice mushiness develops around the potatos (the baking soda broke down the starches on the outside, making a nice goop develop on the exterior of the potatos)
15. When satisfactorily tossed, dump potatos onto cookie sheet
16. Spread about with a wooden spoon till evenly dispersed
17. Sprinkle a little more salt and pepper on potatos
18. Put cookie sheet in oven
19. Set timer for 30 minutes
20. After 30 minutes take out of oven and flip potatos to an unbrowned side
21. Put back in over and set for 10 minutes.
22. Flip and continue cooking until potatos are satisfactorily crunchy and delicious
23. Eat!

Pasta Sauce

Tools

Ingredients

Crafting